yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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