R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
