What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
