What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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