Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
she smelled like a LAN party
The best revenge is premature balding
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
