I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
