I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
