when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
