He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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