she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
