North Korea, Best Korea!
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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