Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
