It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
