she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
