How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
