I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You've changed since you got that strap on
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
