So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
