we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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