we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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