It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
