What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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