She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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