Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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