i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
