You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
