I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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