I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
