...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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