I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
