He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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