I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Hippo gnu deer
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
