Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
