i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I forgot wine drunk hurts
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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