i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
How external is "for external use only"?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
