I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
