Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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