don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
