thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
