hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
