One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
