Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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