mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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