I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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