I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
