I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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