Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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