I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
