So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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