So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
