Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
