he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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