I could have mohawked her pubes.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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