my mouth tastes like poor choices
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
