You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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