Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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