so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
